He hit 1.5 million followers some time ago, and I’ve been shaking my head in disbelief the whole time since, but Fatty finally got his act together and put together a movie about it. Best of all, it has me at my best, getting a few good headshots at the little meathead. Look at that dazed look he gives! I’ve still got it!
Naturally, you might have a few questions about the origin stories in the film. Yes, I really killed a badger – after my previous “owners” left me outside an animal shelter, I quickly high-tailed it out of there and took residence in a farm in Hudson, NY, where I was holed up in a few barns with a number of other cats. The badger made short work of at least one of us, but I was a little more difficult a quarry, and came out victorious. I still, naturally, found time to be a proper lady when the time came and that’s how I got free room and board for (I assume) life. Victory! Well, until Greypunk showed up. And let us not even speak of Cousin Oliver.
The fact is, it’s a hard life out there, and when people make the right decision to help, it really does us a good turn. So don’t expect it all the time, but thanks, from all of us.