Yes, that’s right, he’s done it. Socks, née Sockington, a tiny grey cat found by a random stranger, is now the most popular non-human on Twitter, and leads an “army” of who-knows-who numbering over one million. Thousands join every day, and he has now appeared on TV, radio, newspaper, magazine, podcast, and maybe some sort of smoke signal. It was all distressing for me until I embraced the idea. Why? Because he needs a manager. And what else does a manager do but make sure their ward/”talent” doesn’t get his head stuck in a food bowl or fall off a counter because he thinks the sink “attacked” him, while taking anywhere up to 50% of the profit? I mean, this is a gig that was crafted for me; the amount of delicious seafood flown in from the fish farms that’ll end up on my plate.. but I’m getting ahead of myself.
To “celebrate” this great achievement, there’s a new Sockington One Million movie out. I won’t ruin the surprise within except to say that a song was made especially for this film. Can you believe that? Socks has his own troubador, some nerdy fellow named MC Frontalot.
If you wish to download the 1 Million theme song and read the lyrics, they’re located on this page.
More on the repurcussions of the news in the video later, I promise.