A Question and Meow Session

A couple weeks ago, Socks randomly suggested a “Q&M” (Question and Meow) session, and roped me into it. He claimed he would have it ready for Monday. First of all, he doesn’t quite know what Monday is. Second, this took time–MY time–and I was busy. So here we have, just slightly later than scheduled, an interview with Socks (and myself), using questions posed by his legions of fans.

OH BOY HERE WE GO answers will be answered in the order they were recieved PLEASE HOLD

What?

@sockington Origin stories please! How did you come to live with hooman and @pennycat? What made you into the cat you are today? by eveykitty (Eveykitty)

BORN ON DISTANT PLANET AS CAT-EL travelled through space LANDED AT FARM complete superpowers AND NOW INTO THE SKY

They found him near a subway stop. For my own part, I successfully charmed my staff at a farm I was visiting and was immediately accepted as a member of the family. Greyboy showed up a few years later.

@sockington Oh Sockamillion you are so funny! A cat on twitter! How does this even happen!? by JupiterMonday (Pearson Taighnt)

SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE WIRES under desk of fatty food provider OR MAYBE IT IS MAGIC wooo

@sockington Sardines or Mackrel? by paperingasmile (Louise S)

WHAT

Those are fish. The elongated, tasty morsels, remember?

YES

Which one, then?

ALL

@sockington How many stars? by laura0141 (Laura Thomson)

NO IDEA WHAT YOU MEAN

I have to admit I’m confused too.

Not letting it stop me though so AFTER 120 STARS YOU FIGHT BOWSER

Uh, what?

ITSA ME SOCKINGTON

@sockington To what do you attribute your great popularity? by reidrankin (Reid Rankin)

WORLD-CLASS GROOMING PLUS SHAKYMOUSE EQUALS ARMY also do great purring

His guess is as good as mine, and his guess is horrible. I have no idea what people see in him. In a perfect world, I’d be the one with the tens of thousands of followers, while maybe a few minor moonbats would follow Socks and his twitchy rantings. But a perfect world this is not. However, I appreciate the many kind and discerning individuals of great taste who take the time to gaze upon me and marvel at my outlook, of course.

@sockington um do u need some cat food? by izsy_xox (izsy)

DEPENDS ON IF YOU HAVE ANY

We’re cats, izsy. We will continue to eat food until we explode. Socks, I suspect, would continue to eat after he explodes.

@sockington Do you play with toys? Which is your favorite? by shaetia1997 (shaetia)

LOVE BARON VON SHAKYMOUSE mostly because I know HE HIDES DELICIOUS FOOD IN HIS BELLY and I want to help it escape

@pennycat Q for Socks – Now you’ve got this army, what exactly do you intend to do with it? Is a @Sockington military coup imminent? by mishakidd (Misha the cat)

ARMY=love and treats and toys ONLY TAKEOVER WILL BE OF PET STORE TO ACQUIRE FEATHERS ON A STICK (parakopsicles)

@sockington What is the meaning of life other then food? by Gentandaruler (kamron ahmed)

My, that’s a difficult question. Well, there’s literature of course. Self-improvement and self-examination. Poise and manners and doing what’s right–all of these bring meaning. Socks?

WHERE’S THE FOOD

There’s no food, Socks. It was a question.

OH GOD I DIED OF STARVATION

No, you didn’t. Hush.

AH-HAH SHHHH FOOD COMING SHORTLY

@sockington Which is superior? Cardboard scratchers, or carpet scratchers? by vectorwolf (vectorwolf)

WHAT DO YOU MEAN scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch OOOO scratch scratch SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH
Well, there goes the study. Personally, I just go for the couch. Perfectly arranged in the center of my daily tour, and so well made! I’m convinced they’re built for cat-scratching first and human-sitting second.
@sockington Have you ever considered adding a title to your name and going as Lord Sockington or similar? by hamiltonthefish (Alexander Hamilton)

ALREADY AHEAD OF YOU current name is THE MOST ESTEEMED MISTER SOCKS ESQUIRE you can call me socks
Cats don’t generally go for honorifics, Alexander. We just assume we’re honored, no matter what.
@sockington Do you have a New England accent? I just wondered because my kitties meow with a Kentucky accent. by djhein70 (Deb Hein)
YOU BET Y’ALL COME BACK
While I meow with a pleasant mid-atlantic lilt, Socks actually meows like whatever person, cat or appliance he just recently heard. Not an original thought in the little stump’s brain, I tell you. However, this has made him an excellent mimic, like the morning he woke me imitating a car alarm.
@sockington What’s a good way to make a cat get out of your bed if it is sleeping there ALL DAY uninvited! by toastedbeagle (Suz)

Let me step in here. Why would the question of being “invited” possibly have relevance here? Everything is ours first, others’ second. We’re simply using our property to its fullest advantage.
PENNY IS RIGHT relavents ahoy
@sockington Where did you learn to write and at what age? by BeeBeeDuBois (Bridget Brown)
AM NOT A WRITER but able to pounce on keyboard and make GOOD WORD STUFF
@sockington what are your and penny’s favorite conversation topics? by DonnaNBC4 (donnamwillis)
ONE what is food TWO when is food THREE why is bird out of reach FOUR what was the question
Philosophy, psychology, literature, favorite napping positions, ideal perches, the relative tastiness of various birds and, of course, my good buddy Sockington and how to undermine him.
WHAT MINE UNDER ME NOW thought that was a basement
Not a difficult proposition, obviously.
@sockington wet or dry? by DjBradley (Bradley Fitzhenry)
I AM CURRENTLY DRY
I think they mean our food, Socks.
OOPS I MEAN WET
So you like… wait.. SOCKS! BAD SOCKS!
@sockington Now the real question is, do you like things suited for batting around, danglies, jinglies, and with or without catnip? by hazakaza (Melissa Newman-Evans)

IDEAL IS A BATTY DANGLY JINGLY WITH CATNIP
I must agree with Socks here. Any item with all of those qualities is a cat’s dream come true.
@sockington A/S/L?? by ducttapeavenger (ducttapeavenger)
THIS MANY/DELIGHTFUL/LIVING ROOM
A few people asked about Socks’ age, and unfortunately for these inquisitive folks, Socks is totally unaware of when his birthday is, although the vet thinks he was about six months old when he was found, so that would make him about five years old now. A word of advice: please do not inquire about my age; I will simply say that I’m older than he is, and I’ve made good use of the time in the intellectual realm. Obviously.
@sockington staff training tips please – what works for you by Bitzy_Cat (Bitzy_Cat)
SHEDDING IS GOOD so is random yawping AND JUMPING ON GUESTS HI GUESTS
Socks is right on the money with this one. You know I must admit, despite his many deficits, Sockington is extraordinarily strong in the area of using negative reinforcement to make staff meet his needs.
RIGHT NOW NEEDS IS FOOD so where is fatty so I can SHED ON HIM
@sockington is it claustrophobic being so furry all the time? by HannahmRoman (Hannah Roman)
not quite sure what you’re saying OH YOU MEAN THE FUR well now that you put it that way I guess it scratches a little and WAIT AAAAA GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF
SOCKS! Oh, well, there he goes. He’ll simply writhe around for a minute or two, and by then he’ll forget what he was thinking of, so we can expect him back in a little while. In the meantime, let me answer one in his absence.
@sockington is it true that @pennycat is the one who really wears the pants…er um….fur in your family? by Monkey_Cat (Monkey Cat)

Well, I think the answer is obvious, right? He can manage Twitter, but when it comes to actually roping all the food people into fulfilling their duties, standing watch at night, ensuring safety within the home and answering e-mail, it all comes down to yours truly. The fact is, Socks just isn’t that smart. He’s the kind of cat who gets his head stuck in a box and then thinks the lights have gone out. Ah, and he’s back.
HI WHAT’S GOING ON
No, Socks, it’s what’s on YOU. Your FUR!
not quite sure what you’re saying OH YOU MEAN THE FUR well now that you put it that way I guess it scratches a little and WAIT AAAAA GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF
That is just too good.
@sockington Hey, I hope you’re taking care of your teeth. So many kitties don’t. by DentistryGuide (Your Dentistry Guide)
BITING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT tomorrow I hope to try a wall
Our vet, Dr. Storey, has been checking us regularly for a few years and says we’re doing pretty well. Occasionally we get tartar buildup and need some special treats, but have no worry, we’re both getting excellent medical care. No psychiatric help, though. I don’t need it, and Socks won’t sit still long enough to benefit from it.
Are u a male cat? by Chiquita67 (Chiquita Chiki)

YES
No.
AM TOO
I meant me.
OH HI I AM SOCKS
Sigh. Well, anyway, thank you for joining us, and that’s all the questions we have for today. Let’s do this again soon. Socks?
GOODBYE NICE PEOPLE

6 comments ↓

#1 MarieNo Gravatar on 02.17.09 at 10:48 am

Socks, loved the ref to Mario 64. I don’t think I got up to Bowser :(

#2 MishaNo Gravatar on 02.17.09 at 11:14 am

Well, I think it’s plainly obvious who has the brains in the family, Penny. Thanks for clearing up my concern about Socks’ possible military coup. Couldn’t stand the thought of Socks’ drombies ruling the world.

But, with your brains and my looks we should start formulating our own plans for world domination. I shall seduce them with my sexy bottom and bewitching eyes, while you slay them with your caustic wit. They don’t stand a chance…

#3 BunnyNo Gravatar on 02.18.09 at 1:09 am

You’re awsome Socks! You should meet Pookey, Niles and Lilly-Pilly.
xoxox
Love
Bunbuns

#4 JulieC3No Gravatar on 02.23.09 at 1:45 pm

TOTALLY hilarious!
Buster, Baxter, and Blackie here in Buffalo love you!

#5 DariNo Gravatar on 04.24.09 at 6:19 am

Oh, this was so good!X3

@Penny, no one questioned you about your favorite authors?
I would like to know which are and what do you think about Oscar Wilde, Poe, Shakespeare or Neil Gaiman.
And did you know that in Victoria Francés ‘ “Favole” exists a girl that turns into a cat? (: You have to read it/see it, if you do like gothic stories with awesome illustrations!

#6 opalkaterNo Gravatar on 09.18.09 at 5:23 pm

we love you all! don’t you think it the right time for an actual q & m? greetings from german cats opal (f) & hadji (m)